Suicide in the U.S. is the 10th leading cause of death. In 2018, 48,344 people died by suicide, and in 2015 suicide and self-injury cost the U.S. $69 billion according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Suicide is not something people talk about very often, It can be uncomfortable to talk about, so it is usually kept in the dark. Although, in this day, a lot of light is being shed on suicide and preventing it. People talk about why a person would take their own life and what struggles they go through, but nobody talks about how suicide affects the friends and family of a loved one who died by suicide. So, what is it really like?

Losing someone to suicide is different than losing someone from illness or a freak accident. Death of a loved one is painful in any way it happens, but something about knowing that they took their own life because they didn’t feel the need to go on… That is a different, unexplainable kind of pain that puts a small hole in your heart.

After finding out your loved one has taken their own life, many people start to feel hopeless and feel like they don’t have any reason to go on. A lot of people fall into a depression and shut themselves off from the world. Emotions become numb and anger builds up inside, anger at yourself, at your loved one, at the world.

Losing someone to suicide is something nobody wants to say they have been through, but it happens and it hurts, and it becomes very hard to wrap your brain around. The whole world becomes different, everything you look at, everything you touch, taste, feel. None of it is the same as it was.

What is it like to lose someone to suicide? Don’t let your friends and family be able to answer that question. Think before you act: how will this affect my loved ones? Can I get some help? It’s not too late. It is never too late.

If you or a loved one is struggling, please call one of these hotlines.

Suicide 1(800) 273-8255    Self-harm 1(800) 366-8288    Lifeline 1(800) 784-8433    Grief Support 1(650) 321-3438    Depression 1(630) 482-9696    Drug/Alcohol 1(877) 235-4525    Mental Health 1(800) 442-9673