Opinion: Springtime Sadness

A comprehensive list of why spring is garbage.


Gardening is great until you're doubled over a half-open bag of potting soil racked with sneezes.

I’ve got beef with spring. Everybody complains about Iowa’s bitterly cold winters and unbearably hot summers, but I don’t think we get nearly enough credit for the horribly unpredictable period of time between the two. I set out to determine if I was alone in my vexation, and there were an unanticipated plethora of spring-haters roaming the halls of ADM – so many, in fact, that I’ve put together a brief summary of why our students find spring to be the worst of the four seasons.

Ethan Book said he can’t stand the “constant rain we usually get,” and can you blame him? Rain and spring flooding have caused major headaches this year, especially on the local level – Highway 169 was recently closed due to the Raccoon River entering and exceeding minor flood stage. According to the Iowa DOT, the detour took drivers 13 miles out of their way. It unquestionably could’ve been prevented, too – who builds a town in a  valley, anyway? What is the benefit?

Gabriella Snyder has a different outlook on the weather – when the sun is bright and the temperature’s mild,  she’s bummed because she’s usually “stuck inside studying.” Tests, finals, homework, projects, and everything else students are responsible for really stack up around this time of year, and the suffering intensifies when you could be enjoying the outdoors. I don’t know about anyone else, but wasting my youth away learning trigonometry wouldn’t be nearly as regrettable if the KCCI meteorologists weren’t bordering psychological abuse to get me to go outside. I would if I could, Riley O’Connor. I would if I could.

Bryce Greer and Nathaniel Aukes both hold similar opinions about spring – they, like many others, suffer from seasonal allergies. I don’t remember what it’s like to breathe from my nose – I’ve lost all control of my respiratory system and the only solution is overdosing on Benadryl and vitamin C tablets. My mom’s Walgreens rewards are collecting on an insurmountable level, and if the pollen count doesn’t drop soon I might have to buy stock in Kleenex.

The only value of suffering through it is the long-awaited warmth of summer, and I will absolutely fight anyone that thinks otherwise.