My favorite place to sit after a long day is my room. I love the quiet. The solace. I never have to worry about the rush of being around people. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends. I love hanging out with them virtually whenever I’m free. But after a while, my vision starts to tunnel. After a while, my heart starts to beat so loud I can hear it in my ears. After a while, my lungs stop getting enough air. After a while, I panic. It’s called overstimulation. I get over-stimulated when I get too much input from the world around me. 

It’s a gradual progression. It usually starts in a store, the mall, or some other public place. I can always tell when I want to go home. I’ve really been working on telling people when I need to leave. I know how important it is to me, and how hard I’ve been working to make my needs known to others. My friends are almost always understanding and I’m extremely appreciative. But in situations when people don’t seem to acknowledge the urgency, it gets frustrating and really hard. Deep down, I can feel the pressure building. About to explode. I feel like a volcano. 

I do enjoy hanging out with people. I just have to take it in moderation. Instead of parties and large get-togethers, I prefer small groups of friends and one on one time. I get more out of time spent without that constant building feeling. 

When I tell people that I’m actually an introvert, they’re shocked. I put on such a front when I’m in school. I make memes that make people laugh until they cry, I talk loudly, and I joke constantly. But I use my memes as a place to find happiness. I can share my jokes with others and make them laugh, without feeling overwhelmed. They carry some of my feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

At the end of the day, my friends understand what I go through, and they make sure I’m comfortable. I appreciate all that they do, and I wouldn’t change them for the world.