When you think of Mozart, what comes to mind? A poised and serious man with a white wig and a quill at a piano? That could not be further than the truth. Mozart was a fun-loving man-child who, throughout his career, produced some of the most well known and loved classical pieces, but also some of the most… inappropriate and adult pieces of music at that time. However, as great as Mozart was, he had a big problem: he was a procrastinator.

The date is October 28th, 1787. America has had independence for 11 years and classical music was at an all-time high. Mozart’s famous opera Don Giovanni was set to premiere on the 29th, and Mozart was informed that there was no overture. Like the man he was, he pointed to his head and said, “Don’t worry, it’s all in here.” Probably in a panic, he sat at his desk, frantically writing the overture for his opera that would premiere the next morning. The only thing that kept him from nodding off to sleep was his wife, who kept him awake through poetry readings and punch.

When the overture was first played, it was heavily criticized for being entirely separate from the opera, as it did not contain any of the musical motifs and themes from the opera. However, it is a glimmering trophy for the average procrastinator. If Mozart, arguably the greatest composer of all time, could procrastinate on a piece and write it the day of the performance and have it come out semi-decent, the average procrastinator could too. Or, so we think. 

In a masterfully crafted Ted Talk, writer and speaker Tim Urban describes something called “The Dark Playground”, which is meant to describe the mental place someone goes while procrastinating. In the talk, he said, “Now, the Dark Playground is a place that all of you procrastinators out there know very well. It’s where leisure activities happen when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening,” Urban states. “The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn’t actually fun because it’s completely unearned, and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred– all of those good procrastinator feelings,” (6:35). 

While the quote is said in a joking matter, the Dark Playground is a very real place. I have definitely been there. While it may not be an actual, physical place, the feeling of having fun with a huge deadline looming over your head creates this dark place that definitely is not fun. It can also be filled with excuses. A common excuse that I use, especially with cleaning my room, is “I have more important things to do,” but then after those important things are completed I do nothing and rest instead of actually working to get other things done.

Procrastination is an art. It is the art of using as much time as possible to get as little done as possible. It is the art of wasting your time and still getting the necessary work done. Again, the system is not perfect or pretty, but it gets the job done. The other major thing surrounding procrastination is that every single person is capable of doing it. It is a crime that literally everyone is guilty of. I am very, very guilty of this. I started writing this story in early November. 

I’ll find a way to end this later.