I don’t know about you guys, but I watch a significantly greater amount of shows and movies over the summer. Blame the excessive amount of free time, the humidity – something about summertime makes basement binge-watching extremely appealing. But what, pray tell, to watch? American consumption of watchable media has taken a radical turn in favor of movies with accredited actors, high budgets, realistic effects, compelling plot lines, and appealing soundtracks, and quite frankly, I’ve had enough of quality entertainment. If you have too, you’ll want to keep reading, because following is a sampling of the lousiest excuses for movies you’ll ever have the misfortune to view.

• Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003) and Legally Blondes (2009) As a blonde, these movies have definitely helped me develop a sense of security – nay, a sense of belonging – with my hair color. The first movie, Legally Blonde (2001), is genuine cinematic genius, so I excluded it from my list, however, the trashiness of this trilogy increases dramatically over the course of the second and third movies, and it’s a transformation you have to see to believe.
• The Interview (2014) The premise of this movie is that two American pop culture journalists travel to Pyongyang, North Korea to interview Kim Jong-un. I wouldn’t watch this again if my life depended on it, but I can assure you it’s almost worth watching once.
• Love, Rosie (2014) You aren’t well-versed in bad movies until you’ve tackled this movie. Love, Rosie is the final boss of awful movies. The main characters, Rosie and Alex, struggle to come to terms with the life they could’ve lived together if the timing had worked out. There’s a lot to unpack with this movie in terms of the plot line, and the lack of character development is absolutely ridiculous.
• Any movie with Noah Centineo This is a category rather than a single movie because when I read “Noah Centineo” on a cast list I know I’m about to waste an hour and a half of my life, and despite that awareness I’ll never not watch one of his movies.
• Edward Scissorhands (1990) I watched this movie for the first and only time when I was eight, and I definitely didn’t finish it. I remember absolutely nothing about it.
• Treasure Planet (2002) Rounding off the list is Treasure Planet. This is possibly the worst Disney movie ever produced, and there was absolutely nothing remarkable about the first ten minutes I managed to suffer through. This is the kind of movie you put on when you want background noise for doing absolutely anything else.

That’s a wrap, folks. Feel free to ask me for more suggestions, as I have a laundry list of God-awful shows and movies that’ll last you right up until school starts next August.